The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait
Braves manager Bobby Cox finally set the record for the most ejections in baseball history. Cox celebrated at a local bar before eventually being tossed.
Has-been Jose Offerman has been suspended from his minor league team indefinitely after he hit the opposing pitcher and catcher with his bat. On the positive side, it's the first hitting streak Offerman has had in years.
Johan Santana struck out 17 Texas Rangers. It's not that remarkable, since Sammy Sosa was 14 of them.
Taco Bell is giving away a trip to the 2008 World Series. The winner gets to throw out the first pitch, $50,000, and free Spanish lessons from a Rodriguez to be named later.
In Cleveland, doctors used electrodes to awaken a man who's been in a coma for six years. The man spent his coma in a hospital, coaching the Browns.
Six players were injured in a pre-season game between the Giants and Ravens. Hey, we thought pre-season was two-hand touch.
Giants coach Tom Coughlin surprised his team by canceling their classroom work and taking them bowling. Probably preparing them for a season in the gutter.
Vinny Testaverde has re-signed with the New England Patriots, giving the team a backup in case Tom Brady has to leave to impregnate another celebrity.
Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson have turned down invitations to play in the LG Skins Game. The two golfers backed out when they mistakenly thought John Daly would be playing topless.
And golfer Sheila Drummond became the first blind female to record a hole-in-one. Or someone is playing a really mean practical joke.
For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com
The book National Lampoon Balls! by Steve Hofstetter (one of the co-authors of Sports Minute Or So) can be pre-ordered through Amazon.com, it is to be released on 9/4. A link to the Amazon item can be found in the right column of BTW.