August 17, 2007

Sports Minute (Or So)

The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait

This week, a key defendant in the Michael Vick case asked for a plea bargain. By barking.

David Beckham has released a new cologne named "Intimately Beckham." Sadly, the fragrance is only effective in Europe.

Update on Yao Ming's wedding - it could be his only chance to get a ring during his career.

Cal Ripken Jr. has been appointed a Special Sports Envoy by Condoleezza Rice. It's the first time the government has hired anyone who will show up to work every day. Ripken has already spent more days in Washington than President Bush.

Magic Johnson will hold a fundraiser to support Hillary Clinton's presidential bid. That's perfect, since most political pundits agree that it will take some magic to get her elected.

The Miami Heat signed Penny Hardaway. The deal has been applauded by the year 1995. Penny arrive in Miami shortly, in tiger print pants while doing the Macarena.

Hank Aaron told reporters that he was asleep at his home when Barry Bonds hit his 756th home run. Apparently that's what happens when you have a clear conscience.

And the bad news is that a Los Angeles fan was arrested for throwing a water bottle at the A's Mike Piazza. The good news is that next week he'll be pitching for the Dodgers.

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