The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait
The Pacers Jermaine O'Neal requested a trade to the Lakers. Kobe Bryant is thrilled, since he can't win without an O'Neal.
It was week of milestones as A-Rod hit his 500th home run, Tom Glavine won his 300th game, and Barry Bonds hit his 755th reporter. When Bonds hit his 755th home run, some in the stadium cheered while others booed. And that was just the Giants dugout.
Yao Ming married his 6 foot 2 girlfriend. Tallest canopy ever. The couple is looking forward to having many freakishly long babies.
The Cleveland Browns gave a $21 million contract to 22nd pick Brady Quinn. Wow - that's a million dollars for every player another team thought was better.
In Kentucky, new Knicks center Randolph Morris was arrested for reckless driving. Morris explained that's just how the Knicks play. We're surprised that more Knicks haven't been charged with reckless driving, shooting, and trading.
And the movie "Underdog" is flopping at the box office, despite a great performance from villain Michael Vick. In related news, the Southern Christian Leadership Conference has decided not to present an award to Vick. Not because of all the legal troubles, but because he plays for the Falcons.
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