July 27, 2007

Sports Minute (Or So)



The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
Written by Steve Hofstetter, Adam Hofstetter, Cody Marley, Ryan Murphy, Rich Ragains, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait


More bad news for Michael Vick.Nike has decided to delay the release of his new $100 shoes because of the recent allegations of whipping, beating and torture. Of the Chinese workers who make the shoes.


Elsewhere in the NFL, a state appeals court ruled that the 49ers are allowed to pat down fans before they enter the stadium. There's no shortage of men in the Bay area applying for the job. They should pat someone down - they've been allowing opposing teams to go untouched since the 1990s.


In baseball, the Braves signed 48-year-old Julio Franco. At least he thinks that's what they said; they weren't speaking very loudly.


Two players on the Pittsburgh Pirates admitted that they have Attention Deficit Disorder.It's a special version of the affliction that only lasts for nine innings.


LeBron James has been invited to host the season premiere of Saturday Night Live in September. And we thought he had a bad supporting cast in Cleveland.


Knicks guard Stephon Marbury has expressed interest in playing in Italy. Sorry, Knicks fans have expressed interest in Stephon Marbury playing in Italy.


NHL commissioner Gary Bettman is expected to recommend that the league expand by two teams. Chicago is thrilled, as they haven't had a professional team for decades. Maybe the NHL might expand to new territory - like Canada.


And Johannesburg cyclist Robert Hunter won the 11th stage of the Tour de France with a sizzling time of 3 hours, 47 minutes and 50 seconds. It's the fastest a white South African has moved since the end of Apartheid.


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