April 24, 2007

Poor Yankee Fans

It must be tough being a Yankee fan, your team starting off 8-10 and all. Yankee fans are not accustomed to such lofty heights attained by so few.

A highly recommended read for teh struggling Yankee fan is a book written by Robert Nutting and Dave Littlefield called "Making Money Ball". Please do not mistake this with the book written by Billy Beane, this will only confuse matters even more. Brian Cashman needs to check this out of the library as well. Do they have libraries in New York?

We all understand that Forbes reports the lowly Yankees lost $25M last season, this must change if you are to fit into the elite group of teams that include such high achievers as the Pirates, Royals and Devil Rays. Remember, this is a business, not a game.

First thing that must happen to truly appreciate your team is to make an ownership change. Your current owner, George Steinbrenner (in case you did not know), needs to either reevaluate his position or sell the team to someone with business sense. I understand a Pittsburgher who makes money hand over fist would be interest. From speaking to Mark Cuban, I am sure Kevin McClatchy would love to own your franchise.

What kind of owner is Steinbrenner? When looking for a new stadium to be built, he doesn't threaten a move to Portland? How pitiful. Portland is a beautiful place during the summer, or so I hear.

This whole idea of a "Commitment to Winning" needs to be replaced with a "Commitment to Excrement". It is easier to embrace than you think.

You can not spend hundreds of millions of dollars on a lineup that does not produce with the one exception being A-Rod with his A-bombs. Beyond this, you can not count on injuries to decimate a pitching staff.

Yes it is a good plan to bring in older pitchers, past their primes, who are due for long stints on the DL. The problem with that plan is occasionally they will stay healthy and help the team. This can not happen.

Take some notes from past Pirates signings for the types of players that should be signed. You need players the likes of Jeremy Burnitz, Raul Mondesi and Derek Bell that are brought in and overpaid after they are well past their primes, if they ever had a prime.

Pitchers should be acquired from the scrap heap to fill the minors and major league rosters to provide that veteran leadership required in every rotation.

Back to Mr. Steinbrenner, he needs to refute any allegations that he is making money off the franchise. Come on, how can anyone make money when a team is worth only $1 billion?

The Yankees really need to learn a better way to lose. They are doing it all wrong. To truly achieve greatness, the team must find better ways to fall. A good example is having the bases loaded with no outs and strike out three times.

Even better, bottom of the ninth with the opponent having the bases loaded and one out. A short pop up near the foul line with the outfielder ready to catch it. This ball must be allowed to drop in fair territory so the winning runs score. None of this Jeter sliding in to make the catch stuff.

Another great example is allowing back to back to back to back jacks. Oops, you already did that one.

It is so much easier being a Pirates, Devil Rays or Royals fan. We have more to celebrate more often than these lowly Yankee fans. Yankee Fans have to hold off on celebrations until October, maybe the occasional win against the Red Sox deserves throwing back a victory brew. But really, you have to lose to appreciate winning.

Pirates fans get to celebrate roughly 72 times every season. This is a much better way to go about things. You learn to savor the victories more when they happen so rarely.

All Pirates fans need to send a big thank you to our ownership group and the GM's that have gotten us to this situation. No longer can we feel destroyed when Sid Bream slides into home to steal a trip to the World Series from the Pirates grip. Now we get to celebrate 72 more times than the Yankees fans ever do.

I am glad that Mr. Nutting refutes making any money from the franchise (dialing the IRS as I type), it is obvious he can not make any money in such a small market when teams in large markets like New York can't post a profit.

Thank You Mr. Nutting for giving me so many reasons to celebrate. You lying whore.
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